Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Air India ... watte flyer!

I was scheduled to leave by the 8:30pm flight from Bombay to HK; I was in town (south Bombay) @6:30; I made a mad dash and called the buggers some 6/7 times and FINALLY got thru the help desk (which if you know Air India is a rhetorical term); and they say sir everyone has come please come fast ... I somehow get to the airport at 7:30 and when I rush to the ticket counter they say sir no need to hurry; flight is 2 ours delayed and I am like excuse me.... anyways gave a good firing to the old aunty sitting there who seemed totally disinterested; so I passed a goofy remark "of course you guys are so used to being shouted at; that it doesnt matter anymore" and well; it didnt ..
So I get into the lounge and am writing this blog from a comp which is an exact replica of the DX360 I used to own some decades back.

So I dedicate this blog to the travails me and some of my friends have experienced.
1. I asked for some wine on the flight, I was given absolutely warm white wine (though I asked for red) and I say excuse me can you chill it and the air-hostess who was I think quite tipsy herself goes "sir, in case you dont know red wine is served chilled; and not white wine"; and I say ok get me a beer then (because who wants a chilled red wine?). Yup beer was flatter than well can pass a sexist remark can I?
2. I asked this uncle (well he was 45 yrs old and still a steward); "can I have some water please?" and he gives me a BIG open bottle and when I ask for a glass he says "pe lo koi nahin dekh raha"
3. A friend was flying form HK to Sg and there was some commotion while food was being served and some curd fell on the carpet exactly b/w the business and the economy class' segments; no one cleared it for 35 mnutes because well; no one wanted to acceed that the fallen curd was on their side... and it starts stinking so bad that my friend gets up cleans it. Instead of getting a thanks; a steward says sir you are not supposed to do that. The new India....
4. Well cockroaches are a common thing
5. Worst was when I waws flying this time to India; started chatting with my co-passenger who narrated this -> "when he was flying to NY the air-hostess asked everyone who was NOT Indian for wine and when this guy got the courage (to avoid a stern look from aunty) to ask for one glass; he was given from a different bottle; anyways he got pissed and said well its quite bad and he was told the others finished all the good one already". I remember last time I wrote how Indians are the biggest racists; well this proved it.

By the way if you are a guy and are sitting next to a hot girl and need to find the right line to strike a conversation with her; just start off with a small laugh so that she looks at you and then go "oh I am sorry I just rememberd what happened to me the last time I flew Air India" and trust me your journey is made

Pretty sad blog I know; but watto do? Flight is delayed 3 hours now ... these buggers know how to kill slowly

5 comments:

Zee said...

only you can chat up women god knows where!!!!!!!

have to mention Kur's story about him traveling to bombay in peak monsoons by deccan. and just when there was terrible turbulence the air hostess announced "The life jackets are under your seats". Picture Kur sweating in panic. Announcement continues. "Please do not take them home with you. They are a part of the aircraft"

Cool said...

I traveled air India once for an international sector and my exp has been totally fine.... but have heard enought stories.. so maybe i have very less expectation level from them :)

Anshul said...

oh 1 thing which I have to mention
on the same flight (it goes via Delhi); in Delhi the crew shut off the AC
serious!
I was sleeping and woke upto a sweating shirt and I told the crew to switch it on. They tell me the doors are open and I am like "yeah so?"
anyways; I made quite abig issue that they finally turned it on; but to have the last laugh the put it at the lowest level.

Unknown said...

Look at it this way mister, each time you Air India, you get a new experience..

an experience you probably would never have imagined to get!

it's kinda exciting in that way :D

makes life more interesting :)

Anonymous said...

Well written article.