Home - Snapped Up!

Was in Delhi for 2 straight weeks after 2003; had planned to goto Bombay, Gwalior and Bangalore to meet friends; but ditched all of that.
Just chilled at home; drove around like mad, met with tonnes of relatives; answered the same Q some 456874986438967 million times, "yes looking at someone; will get married soon".
Instead gained some 6 kgs and didnt do even one km of running.

But there were far too many events to warrant any look back option ie look back and think shit should have done this instead; it was a great time and I will surely miss being back home.
Met some relatives of mine after 5 yrs and so much changes in that time its not funny; but what is better is that the family bond remains and grows with time and as cousins grow up and take the mantle form respective parents.

I love taking snaps; I am not a photographer by any chance or dont have it as a hobby even; I own a very basic digicam; but when I go out home or elsewhere I always carry it with me.

There were 2/3 main events which happened on this trip; 2 weddings - my best friends (Amit) and the other of my cousin (Prateek) and the second was me finding some really old snaps of the family which I readily scanned and downloaded on my laptop (so many more remain but that will augur a revisit to Delhi & Meerut - my mom;s hometown)

This one was of mine when I was 5 yr old; I am surrounded by a lot of my relatives (the other kid is my brother) and i have done something really naughty for everyone is smiling and I am visibily "foot-in-mouth-syndromed!

Amit is my best friend and is part of family so when he was getting married; I forced myself onto everyone to make them listen to the Best Man speech. He was willing to pay me not to say it; but I relented from the interesting topcis since I want to get married sometime and when I do, I do NOT want him to return the favor!

The Best Man's Speech ended without much "event" but it was a good one apparently for my mom came up to me and said, "You have finally learnt how not to make a fool of yourself"... so much for motherly affection.

Prateek the guy sitting here with ANOTHER sweet in his mouth and hte 2 of us (my brother and I) are really thick and I count him more as a brother than a cousin; so his wedding was ful of a lot of back-breaking work; where I reluctantly (ahem!) was adjudged the bar-tender. The wedding was fun; I had gone in thinking we will show the old folks (read parents) how its done; but the affair ended up with all moms singing and dads dancing among themselves and with the ladies

Unfortunately the snap of my parents dancing - waltz by the way on Nakhrewali by Kishore Kumar - is on dad's camera.
The wedding was basic, no extra jazz besides me looking like a shaven surd.
By the way for the first time in my experiences at weddings; the mobile bar had enough stock to last 5 hours; with chilled beer & soda, water and an ice-box. Of course openers and ice-picks with machined ice were there!

And finally; bot this baby for my folks for Diwali; she has done 1600 kms out of which I drove 1400kms+; she can touch 160kmph easily. Also did a 360 turn on a Swift (Amit's; after being down 8/9 beers ... not recommended and never doing again!)

Here is my baby!

And yeah do watch Om Shanti Om and Jab We Met. OSO is super cool! and Jab We Met is in its own league for sure.

That's it; great fun!

Of course Air India screwed up the retunr by being delayed 5.5 hours; but ok chalt hai; though I gave some of htem a bit of hell. Anyways...

Until next time.

Shubh Deepawali

SHUBH DEEPAWALI

Wishing you and your family and loved ones the best of times ahead.

May Lord Ganesha shower the choicest of Blessings on all of you

I will be in India celebrating Diwali at home!

YIIIPPPPEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Girls night out

Yup you read it right; but before you get your imaginations and your sleazy ideas out; it was a great time; the "gang" included 3 women; all married and settled down.
Anyways it started like this; I had to buy some oil paints for my Chacha (uncle) and the only person was "S" who can put any guy to shame when t comes to partying and can under drink anyone I know.
I call S up and we hunt a bit but cant find them paints, so she calls another friend of hers "N" who loves to paint and so after we buy the paints; we 3 go and have coffee when S tells us that there is a dinner in the night and we can join her; which I was reluctant to as I didnt know D (the person who's place we were supposed to have dinner @) and who would want to be with 3 married women on a Saturday night. but S is a great friend and saying no to her is always tough; plus I can go anywhere for good Indian food (esp when its free and non-veg).
So we (N and I) literally gate crash the party ... and the food was GREAT; lamb rack, kabaabs, sausages, brilliant wine... the works.
All that done; we 4 settle down; the host, S, N and me.

The talk started with guys; even though all were married etc and it was brilliant; it could have been the wine but I have to say that in most Qs raised I had to say yeah well agree with you or yeah maybe you are right; and they were intense Qs, not arty-farty types which some of hte women I know of my age raise (pppfffoooofff); I mean these women ranged from 36-44 and they knew more about me than me I am sure! (since I am not gay).
The talk ranged from pearl panties to Calvin Klein u.ws to babies to mom-in-laws to pesudo bashing to biking to bungee jumping to travels around the world to bachelor parties to dirt biking to maid servants to everything and I was so loving it because this talk wasnt the usual nagging shit; it was true to life actual stuff and they being them (highly cool women) were absolutely cool about telling the other girls where they were wrong and where they were fukking themselves up.
After a while we spoke books; investments; astrology; history; fanatical religious people; US; Russia everything under the sun linked to this century.

When I was on my way for dinner to D's place I had fixed with another friend to meet him at 10; I wounded up at D's place when her kids kept waking up time and again. The time was 2 am; didnt notice to pass by.

It was a great night and I must say some of you women out there are really interesting; but alas you are married as well ... (hehehehehehhehehehehehehe; come on kill me now!)

You repeat history if you forget it

I am a big fan of geo-politics and more so of history
I love reading wikipedia on an arbit subject I would type in and then keep on clicking away on related or embedded links and seeing what and where that leads me to.

This Saturday I spent a good part of the day reading on the kulaks in Soviet history, then going on to reading on the Soviet history itself and its a pretty dark, sad and un-nerving one.
Soviet Union was ruled effectively by 4 people till it was dismantled; the no of people Stalin got killed or purged as its referred to runs easly into a few 10's of millions and the error factor (ie what the esitmates may be worng by) is something like 5-7mn (its as if you were talking of ants and not people).

Its very strange that a super-power came crashing down in a matter of months post a failed coup; but when you read more into it; its pretty clear that it was bound to happen.
The Soviet society was based on fear; it is estimated that a good proportion of kulaks killed were not kulaks at all; each and every member of the State Police was suposed to show results and they went overboard on it; again absolute dis-regard for human life or any value system.
Forget all that ... how can any govt pass an order to have its own people killed ..? NKVD Order No 99447
One logic a prof in JNU (where I grew up in Delhi) gave me was they were anti-govt; and I was like God what a doofus; you blame America and all its pursuits and you are actually justifying this shit.
In case you dont get it I HATE Communists; they are definitely by far the worst of the lot; Soviet Union enslaved its own people into gulags; invaded and occupied parts of Eatern Europe for a brief spell in the late '60s; put up the Berlin Wall; invaded Afghanistan ... and none of the Commies called any of this an imperialist pursuit;
I mean come on!! What is it then; a call for lunch?

In that country between 1960s and 1970s poets and writers were just picked up and sent to the KGB HQs for interrogation; most were tortured and disposed off or sent out to Siberia. In fact some of those who did sort out their lives in Siberia and improve their lifestyle were again brought back or sent to gulags (slave labor camps)

Whats the point of this blog then?
We are moving into a society which is heading there again.
Look at Russia right now; Russians seem to be happy that they are very rich now and have had good growth coming in; but then thats not ALL thanks to Mr Putin; ok he is a strong man and all that but Russia has more to thank its natural resources esp gas, oil and now the metal commodities.
Putin knows that and thats why he is behaving like a spoilt brat; passing funny comments at embassy meets; cutting off gas supply to Ukraine and EU, going to Iran and offering that nation nuclear fuel. And then the thing of resigning from Presidency only to re-elect himself as PM; simple ways of staying in power.
And thats where the problem lies; Russians may feel wealthy & rightfully so, but they still live in fear; fear from Putin's men (KGB is back, now its called FSB but its far stronger and worse than its predecessor); already free press is an oxy-moron in Russia; and then Putin has Russian defectors and reporters killed in other nations.
An avg Russian has no clue whether European are allies or not as it depends on what side of the bed Putin gets off from ... all this leads to one thing again and thats Russians are going more and more inwards in terms of perspective and not trusting anyone and living in fear.

And thats why I am scared; if the commodity cycle craps out suddenly, and it will sooner or later, I mean crude cant stay @ $90/barrel for long w/o an effective subsitutes coming up (I am talking a few years; not like tomorrow) then Russia will be like a beggar everyone wants to ridicule because of its high handedness at present.
THEN the problem will start; because when economics fails; there is increased rumbling as unasked Qs become more stronger; then the society wakes up and says fukk you. Then you have purges happening again and then you will have a possible war to break out for Putin (or whoever is ruling Russia then) so as to divert attention elsewhere.

It may sound like a far fetched theory; but Russian/Soviet leaders have more often than not used this step to stay in power and this is like a few centuries old.

So much so for my analysis; I think China will be a great eg for Russians to work along as; Chinese are way too smart.
Indian policy and say in foreign matters has improved dramtically but I think we need to be aggressive and have a government without the Commies there.

In case you are wondering why such a long discourse; well the Commies in India have initiated a few changes in the Indian markets and I may be a statistical input no one appreciates; so I wanted to see what exactly are these Commies proud about; Russia/Soviet Union ... no way; China .. well China is far more capitalist than USA right now.
The only possible success stories could be North Korea and Cuba ... well you can have both of them.
And you dont want me to start on North Korea; I can write or 2 days on that country and its "Dear Leader".

Cheerio and all that!

Have you noticed?

a. The villans in Die Hard or Live Free were not religious terrorists but financial whiz kids AND most were French
b. In Near (Nicolas Cage); the terrorists were ALL French
c. In a few animations off late the swine has a distinct French accent

Whats happening guys? Whatever happened to zi Nazi Germans and da Soviet (Russians) and woh sabh Islamic militants?

Looks like Hollywood has a new enemy or at least a political one.
Is Sarkozy listening; though the timing is bad esp when Sarkozy is cozying upto US and Gordon Brown making a move away; maybe you will have the next movie showing MI6 being infiltrated and planning to bomb dem 'mericans!

Pretty cool ad!

The previous link got some really bad email responses so I had to remove that get this one in place. Well to undo whatever I had done to upset woman-kind; coz the guys loved it for some reason.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqBy6TgYxTU&mode=related&search=bannedcommercials%20commercial%20wal-mart%20joo%20xxx%20porn%20lol%20pants%20sexypants%20hotpants%20funnycommercial%20hommadevideo%20homemade

Cheers!

Things you dont want to try

* Never try fixing the brakes on your bike when you dont know where to start from; and if you do try to do that; dont go on a slope after that; especially if it rained the previous night.
* Never kick your teacher hard even if he says you can do that; the rejoinder wont be pancakes or pats on the back. It will be if you are lying down .... later.

Thats enough for today's lessons; tomorrow I meet the Beast again.
Considering the aftermath of the above two incidents; I look forward to meeting her.

I had a vision ...

This is basically an innate attempt at some 3 ppl writing a stupid novel; or well 1 writing a short story (http://halfsweetnhalfnuts.blogspot.com/2007/09/inanimate-foot-lies-elevated-on-pile-of.html) and the others adding (http://nicenewguy.blogspot.com/2007/10/other-side.html) something on to it; so its just for kicks and not to emotionally hurt or challenge anyone; with me just trying to spoil the poop.
___________
She was dead, finally SHE was dead; after having spoilt so many lives including mine; I couldnt see her make use of Keith.
Keith who has been like a brother to me; Keith who would follow anyone who would be nice to him and not just make fun of his "funky teeth"...

So apparently the maiden had sprained her ankle and was at home; she had noticed Keith go ga-ga over her and hadnt it been for me; it was clear that she would have used and thrown him away as a rag-tag doll as she has with so many others, including me.
So when I finally told Jason and Lars about Keith about what I intended to do; the initial reaction was of course of dumb foundedness and then came the revelation ... can we actually get back at the one who has spoilt the lives of so many whom we know of... but I guess the clincher was when I told them that she was using her "ankle trick" again
The plan was then set and executed to perfection; but the only faltering point was the fact that Keith was spposed to eat some of the donuts as well so that both would get drugged and there would be least resistance from either.

I had prepared the syringe for her especially and though would have hoped to inflict most gruesome pain; we all decided against it; since death was to be given a chance as well.
The plan for Keith was simple; he would have the donut(s); we drug him out and have him dropped over at my place with some alcohol injected in his body to make him feel nice and high when he'd be awake and with a bloody hangover.

But as luck would have it; Keith being the nice kid was busy massaging her sprained ankle when we walked in; and he saw me; had it been Jason or Lars we could have managed something and since he did put up a stuggle the alcohol injection went in a bit too painfully for him.
One thing I mis-adjudged for which we have to decide what to do with Keith now and that is - we didnt realise the poor kid would have already fallen for her...

So he remains gagged and bound till we decide what to do with him ...
_________________________
..... so who would want to take it up from here?
_________________________
Nuttty I hope you dont mind the twist which has come in the tale... I know you are a sport; but still would like to put this disclaimer in as well. MMuuaaahhh!!!
Nice New Guy; THIS is what I call sordid!!

The Neighbor

It was Nice New Guy and then Nutty; so I thought well what the hell, maybe I can try my hand as well...
____________________________________________________________

"Have you seen the movie?"
The Q was innocuous and out of the blue. I wasnt sure I was the one who was addressed in it; so at first I ignored it. Then she asked me again and this time all eyes were on me.
So just out of the fact that everyone expected me to say "Yes I have and dont want to see it again" I said well, "No, would you like to go for it?"
And she said "Yes; weekends fine with you?" and I said, "Yeah sure"
Ok a little bit of background ... she is THE single most hotty in town but at the same time a sweet old girl; old because well she is 5 yrs my senior and happens to be my sister's groups' heart-throb. And she is a neighbor, living in the big bungalow next to mine.
Me, I am a lazy sod who spends most of his time in the gym and the remaining in books; so not the actual "find" for this girl.

Anyways; so she and I go for the movie and she pays for her part and says we should do this again and I go "yeah whatever"; thinking thats that!
After a few days, I am again with my sister's group skipping thru the CDs in the room and she comes over and makes small talk. I get a little bugged; quite bugged because she wants to talk and I have nothing to talk about.
All I can talk about is what weight I lift and history; neither makes interesting conversation.
But she being her, is nice and wants to chat.
Again all eyes are on me not to offer her a drink and get 1 myself; so going against consensus, I do just that. And we start chatting.
I realise she knows something about World War II and I suddenly get into an agitated argument with her on why Patton was way better than Montgomery and being abusive; say a few "fukks and bullshit" along the way.
She gets annoyed and walks out; and I am like "yeah whatever".

But I want to talk to her; thats the first time I have wanted to be with someone and for the first have needed someone to say "I want to talk with you"
But alas not happening tonight...

The winter is on and I like reading my books in the sun: One day she walks over from her home and says, "I have been sitting watching you for the last few days and you know I have been watching you so why didnt you say hi or anything". And I go blank, as a defence I say; "Well yeah whatever"
"Is that your favorite word?" and I swung back, "Used to be" and as adjoiner say, "So how is Ravi?" (hoping to quell any further conversation, for I know they have broken up)
She gives a bad look and walks off and I go back to my reading.
Again comes the feeling and this time I say, "Hey babes, I know about Ravi; so what happened?"

The conversation picks up and soon we spend a lot of time with each other; out for walks and going for movies and kidding each other.
She gets a few funny comments (about spending time with a sod like me); some from my sister as well but she is ok about it; no one messes with me for I am known to be short of temper and a bit of a bully.
So the time spent together goes unabated.

Then one day she introduces me to someone who her parents want her to get married to; she asks me what I think of him and I say, "Well, he does remind me of a rat".
After that I stop meeting her and time comes for me to move out of my city as I have got a job elsewhere. We had not met since the above incident; I had got back to my books and weights and she to her earlier group.
My sister insists that I go meet her once before I leave and against all in my brain, I go.
My first line is, "So what happened to the guy?" and she says, "He looked like a rat"

We laughed; its been 6 years since that and both of us are still single.

"My eyes seek reality; My fingers seek my veins"

English Tea and much more

"You want to come to me mum's place?"
My colleague Chris asked me this when it was finalised that we 2 would be going together to London on work
I have always been a GREAT fan of Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl, CS Lewis (among many more) and though I used to get confused why ppl stored food in their ladder (as in seedi); I have always been very keen to see and enjoy the English countryside.
So when Chris asked the above Q; I was like mate you are on!
Chris's mom lives south of Essex in a small hamlet of 400 ppl where obviously everyone knows everyone else and they have their local ghost as well; actually 4 of them; legend has it that the first house that you see when you enter the hamlet has 4 ghosts of sisters who were allegedly killed there. A pity I wasnt allowed to go into the grounds though we tried.
Anyways; so we reached his place at 8am and had the most amazing experience of "sounds of silence"; the hamlet was so quiet it was discerning!
Then followed a drive around the hamlet, followed by scones (no they are NOT muffins but sweeter); tea by the farmside with horses and small farm pets making acquaintance with you. The sun was out and even though it was a bit chilly; sitting out in the sun with a cup of tea and scones just made it worht it.
Lunch/supper (I had supper the first time in my life) was a rack of roasted lamb followed by ash black coffee and blueberry pie.
I KNOW!!!! A perfect English Sunday!!

Anyhow, had to leave the countryside because we WERE in London on work.
London is one of the most beautiful cities in the world; London has been able to mingle the efficiencies (well almost) of a modern city along with the colonial pride it is associated with.
You have ppl riding on horses in the middle of the city's parks; the taxis are imperialistic in appearance and size; and the cabbies are the most helpful in the world. People here actually smile at you and wish you good morning etc if you happen to make eye contact (somewhat like NY)
There is TOO much money here; an Aston Martin or a Lamborghni is very common (though HK has the highest Porches/Ferraris per capita in the world); but somehow out here you always relate the same to class.... the city brings it out.
I managed to do all my inter-city travel via cab because I knew I wont have the time to visit what the city is known for and it was so brilliant one can just imagine what the city would be like in all its glamor and charm of being the imperial capital of the world.

I am way too impressed by London; though have yet to see the darker sides and apparently its pretty bad; but the city has something which makes you feel charmed by it.

Anyways; they are calling my name now; so should rush.

Cheerio!

My worst (?) nightmare

I started getting this one about a yr back and it has a very good record of recurrence.

I am always in an exam; and almost always at school (think a few times it was college) and I am of the present consciousness i.e. I am giving a school exam so to say when I am 27 because I know that when I look at the Q paper I know nothing but at the same time I know that I can get over it because I have passed my higher studies and have a job and all.

So is this a nightmare or is it my sub-consciousness telling me that if spots of trouble do come across I would get over it?

My interpretation is that the profession I am in will change in the next 12-18 months totally and at present I am not well equipped for it; and I know that; but yaar kaam itna hai ki I cant take time out to get things in place. So lets see what my next step is

What do you suggest?
I know my job is different but still how do you guys sharpen your skills while still at work?

Air India ... watte flyer!

I was scheduled to leave by the 8:30pm flight from Bombay to HK; I was in town (south Bombay) @6:30; I made a mad dash and called the buggers some 6/7 times and FINALLY got thru the help desk (which if you know Air India is a rhetorical term); and they say sir everyone has come please come fast ... I somehow get to the airport at 7:30 and when I rush to the ticket counter they say sir no need to hurry; flight is 2 ours delayed and I am like excuse me.... anyways gave a good firing to the old aunty sitting there who seemed totally disinterested; so I passed a goofy remark "of course you guys are so used to being shouted at; that it doesnt matter anymore" and well; it didnt ..
So I get into the lounge and am writing this blog from a comp which is an exact replica of the DX360 I used to own some decades back.

So I dedicate this blog to the travails me and some of my friends have experienced.
1. I asked for some wine on the flight, I was given absolutely warm white wine (though I asked for red) and I say excuse me can you chill it and the air-hostess who was I think quite tipsy herself goes "sir, in case you dont know red wine is served chilled; and not white wine"; and I say ok get me a beer then (because who wants a chilled red wine?). Yup beer was flatter than well can pass a sexist remark can I?
2. I asked this uncle (well he was 45 yrs old and still a steward); "can I have some water please?" and he gives me a BIG open bottle and when I ask for a glass he says "pe lo koi nahin dekh raha"
3. A friend was flying form HK to Sg and there was some commotion while food was being served and some curd fell on the carpet exactly b/w the business and the economy class' segments; no one cleared it for 35 mnutes because well; no one wanted to acceed that the fallen curd was on their side... and it starts stinking so bad that my friend gets up cleans it. Instead of getting a thanks; a steward says sir you are not supposed to do that. The new India....
4. Well cockroaches are a common thing
5. Worst was when I waws flying this time to India; started chatting with my co-passenger who narrated this -> "when he was flying to NY the air-hostess asked everyone who was NOT Indian for wine and when this guy got the courage (to avoid a stern look from aunty) to ask for one glass; he was given from a different bottle; anyways he got pissed and said well its quite bad and he was told the others finished all the good one already". I remember last time I wrote how Indians are the biggest racists; well this proved it.

By the way if you are a guy and are sitting next to a hot girl and need to find the right line to strike a conversation with her; just start off with a small laugh so that she looks at you and then go "oh I am sorry I just rememberd what happened to me the last time I flew Air India" and trust me your journey is made

Pretty sad blog I know; but watto do? Flight is delayed 3 hours now ... these buggers know how to kill slowly

I was SHIT scared!

I have started kick boxing lessons and today I had my first sparring
Though I was all guarded totally (I mean shin guards; head guard) but even then I was so SHIT scared its not funny and forgot EVERYTHING
At one point my trainer id a push kick and I actually fell back ... and when I swung at him he winced and I am like God people do this w/o guards .... man! I so wanna do this!!
Next sparring on Thursday!

I need to get over this fear of loosing you know; once I do get out of it; I will get beaten but then that will perhaps add to it...? You get the drift yeah?

Replenishing My Music Collection Need Help

This is from both an experimental as well as a replenishment mode -

Or easier would be if you could actually put in your favorite songs and groups and maybe I can do some search on their greatest hits (in case of groups/artists being mentioned); I also promise to burn the combined CDs for all those who seriously contribute.
Those living in Delhi/Bombay/Singapore I frequent these cities often so I can deliver it if needed
Those in HK; ah well anytime
Those elsewhere; I can have the same courierd to you.
I already have some 3000 songs/compositions; I plan to add another 2000 odd more and will have them burnt and sent out to you; and you can pick and choose what you want.

1. I will tell you the kind of groups/songs I listen to; so maybe you could tell me where I can download good quality (I use Limewire for English and Papuyaar.com - Thanks to Adnan) for now
2. What I listen to - Anything but techno and pop.
3. In rock music along the lines of U2, Metallica, Dire Straits, Pearl Jam, Pink Floyd, CCR, Def Leppard (some call them pop but I enjoy it), Bon Jovi (at times); Deep Purple; Led Zep; Nirvana, S&G, Dave Matthews Band, Aerosmith (pretty rarely); Alanis Morissette; Bruce Springstein; Coldplay; Greenday, Nickelback etc
This is what I listen to in rock.alternative.metal; so in case you have any thing more I can look up or if you have access ot songs which are not easily heard like Metallica doing covers on Led Zep or Bono singing Sweet Summer Wine; that'd be great.
4. I am into rap and R&B but those songs you get easily and I have more than cuss words for a decade.
5. In Hindi I am a freak for oldies (but no good site to download music from); esp the likes of SD Burman, Mohd Rafi, Talat, Geeta Dutt, Kishore Kumar; and this is where I really need help besides Western Classical.
6. In movies post 1995; which ones do you think have had good OSTs, I can easily access music on them; so if you have any prefered songs/OSTs do let me know.
7. Sufi music esp Nusrat
8. Last but not the least I have started appreciating Bach, Mozart and Beethoven; so any particular symphonies or if you think I can look up someone on similar lines; esp on the violin. Unfortunately not been able to really appreciate Indian Classical so much; sadly.

I know it s a lot of grey but hey its music! It should be like that!

Cheers!

Watte Life; IT shtyle....

http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/2007/09/05/stories/2007090552560400.htm


.... this blog is to all the poor sods who thought IT is a very humane sector
.... I am not being mean; but this is the First time the tech bubble is actually going to burst and then stay there; the dot com burst was for dot coms; this is for IT services. (Alternate view points are welcome; for I may then need to change my investment thesis)

As some of you may know I am in the stock markets and there are two sectors which I hate (from investor point of view) which are Textiles and Pharma


Textiles because these buggers are always raising money and diluting shareholder value and Pharma because it is so bloody opaque; no one knows whats the next drug discovery coming from.


However, my best short (i.e. selling something heavily because you feel its fortunes are going down) for this year has been the IT sector
Though back in B School I was never too big a fan of marketing; I have, since joining the work stream, believed that any company/sector should have a sustained avenue for growth and stability of income, which hte IT services dont have

Ok; agreed this has been a sunshine sector for India and all that jazz; but look at what the companies do; shift high cost job to a low cost centre and then sit on it.
Companies like Infosys, TCS, Wipro should be ashamed of calling themselves value protectors because they had the chance of a lifetime of not just being cost-arbitraugers but moving ahead and making a name of providing offerings like products etc which could help them make a sustainable positioning and platform.
I conceed that these companies have given huge employment opportunities but the point is that by not thinking long term they have actually put so much in dilemma that its not funny!

Just 1 factor, the rising Re, is killing them so badly that they are now resorting to cheap tricks like increasing the work hours of their employees (as the above link shows)
I am in the finance world; I know what I am doing today may be redundant in 3 yrs; and more importantly my employer knows that and so they are always working on improving revenues and models; no one sits idle (well I do but thats because I am a lazy sod);

And look at India itself; we dont need people to keep telling me that IT is so great etc etc; htings have moved so much beyond it now; we are the cheapest steel producers; the best refiing margins are with us; we are the best in auto ancillaries and mid end engg precisioning... who needs cost arbtraugers?
If the IT companies really believe in looking after their employees and in creating value they need to start getting their act together rather than resorting to this shenanigans

This is CLOSE

The tall building is mine; I am on the 60th floor and damn I forgot to get my camera else would have taken another snap; this one was of course taken by some professional.

But it is a MASSIVE plane!

The Airbus A 380 cruised SAFELY by our TALL office

Quite a co-incidence to the blog below eh?

The geopolitics post 9/11

9/11 has been an incident which has divided the world into 2 distinct groups; those who hail this as a slap on the face for US and white (and thus Christian supremacy) and those who take this as a slap on the face on anything democratic.

And thats where the issue lies; it doesnt lie in the fact that the event was funded by Islamic radicals (though I have read enough "theories" which states that perhaps the American govt was as involved in the bombings as the Islamic radicals)
http://www.uwgb.edu/dutchs/pseudosc/911nutphysics.htm
But ok thats one thing I am not writing about; it is the approach ppl have towards it.
Frankly its not that I have been touched by this incident personally or that I am writing it on a an eve (almost) of the incidents 6 yrs; nothing like that; what started me off was this article in the Economist
http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?story_id=9724266 (read the last paragraph)

Most ppl look at 9/11 as a great tragedy which unfolded the banning of the Al Qaeda and the invasion of Iraq; (the debacle of which ie the Iraq invasion) which resulted in the prominence of Iran in geopolitics and thereafter the failed Israeli invasion on southern Lebanon, which is now leading to the revival of the rightist party in Israel and the fall of Gaza into Hamas' hand; so basically to a point where in the Mid East is becoming into a time bomb with a very short fuse
.. yeah so everyone knows that right
... and I am not even talking of the Afghan issue and the impact it is having on our dear neighbour Pakistan.

I again reiterate to see the basis of this problem; read what I have written up
The ppl who support radical Islamists see this face for US and white (and thus Christian) supremacy; so there are certain parties who are not even radical Islamists but arein favor of this and there you have some African nations, and the biggest one being Russia.
Of course Russia has its own issue with terrorism (Islamic & otherwise), but Russia is something which the other democratic countries aren't i.e. Putin can have any place bombarded w/o a single thought of why/why not; look @ Chechnya!

The second group comprises the whatever comes under the political definition of "liberal" across religions and countries who take this as a slap on the face on anything democratic. But the issue with most liberalists is that they are exactly that .. they are way too liberal to be made to force a point across. They want to be mid way ie not say anything which will be seen or heard as being forceful.
So they will use the logic that yeah 9/11 was bad but then the West has been funding the terrorists for long and terrorists needing a motive to kill would obviously move to the hand htat feeds them. Basic logic; but yeah why say it; claim 9/11 as being just that!
Something that should not happen ever!
Now all of you liberals will hit at me as saying that the west has been responsible and talk of the stripping of Gaza and the resurgance of Shia/Sunni enemity by favoring Iraq in the Iran/Iraq war and how the Pushtuns (and tribes from NWFP) were pushed into warfare against the Russians in Afghanistan and how that led to the birth of Al Qaeda.
But hey; read again I AM saying all that happened; but we are talking of 9/11 as being just that and what happened consequently.

How many of us claim 9/11 to be the date which changed the world forever? Everyone; but do you actually think how it has? Well when "liberal" countries like Sweden and Switzerland (who was neutral during the 2 wars) have issues about minarets and seemingly generous Muslim people in Europe start saying that they feel the need to be more conservative its that when you stat worrying about having kids

Honestly would you want to raise kids into a world like this?
I would like to see how the next 5 years move; esp now when the hegemony of US no longer exists and the Russians have re-started flying long range bombers on squad missions. Beautiful weapons those.
Oh yeah I have not used the word China even once because the Chinese know what Shun Tzu (did I get it right) meant best; let 2 big enemies fight and then go and take the spoils. and trust me Chinese know what they want! And its not just noodles and momos.

I am not menitoning India because we Indians take pride in the fact that we have never invaded another country; well yeah because they were busy invading us!
Hahahahaahha; bloody hell.

Dont trust Tom

I have a BIG colleague and dear friend; Tom

He is a 6 foot 2 inches Canadian and a great guy. I have met a few Canadians (courteousy Tom) and so can easily say that most of these buggers are huge, friendly and great outdoors' people.


So today, Tom & I decided to go and spend about 4/5 hours hiking. What Tom didnt tell me was he was getting his rotweiler along. For those who dont know what a rotweiler is; well check this out -> thats her; she comes to my waist, is 38 kgs and as per Tom she is a bit weak. Well I am fine with that...
Oh yeah she has in a fit of rage bitten off another dog's eye, well to be fair that dog (porm breed) was being way too irrtating and snipping at The Beast's legs.
Tom's wife is Japanese and a sweet lady and she has named the dog, which's literal translation is The Beast; so when I met her she sniffed me around and Tom says "oh she likes you, you're safe"; I am like why do you call her The Beast and he's like ah well you will know.


Anyways so we get on with the hike and then horrors of all horrors; Tom lets loose the Beast and the Beast suddenly wants to rekindle the relationshop with me. Now Tom is a big guy and he walks very fast so he is already ahead of me by some 60/70 meters and he is a bit deaf too (was a lead guitarist in a home-town band) and so when hte Beast runs at me I am not only pissing I am screaming (but one of those times when the voice doesnt come out) and trust me see the snap again and you DONT want those fangs coming at you!
But what happened next was brilliant and made me fall in love with the Beast all over ... she came met with smelled me rubbed her nose against my legs and then turned towards Tom looked back at me again and gave a small "woof"; as if to say dont worry I will keep checking up on you and now better start moving you are way behind Tom.
And thats exactly what she did the entire hike; keep coming back to check me up and then running ahead to get to Tom.


Coming back to the hike .. you see Indians are whimps you know; we cant do anything and we complain at every step; and the problem is Tom knows that and he knows how to use that as well. Now I believe you all know what 90 degrees in geometry means; now imagin the start of a hike with a cliff that was at least a 100 meters high and at an angle of 60 degrees
And oh I forgot to add; it was raining so my shoes were skidding and I was slipping and of course drenched.
That 100 meters was FUN; I have never had so much fun in climbing up somehwere but I got cut and bruised so badly so even though the climb was fun the ordeal is not funny.

Anyways; so I get thru hte 100 meters and in a whiny voice tell Tom dude how much more. Now he knows if he tells me this is just the beginning I iwll say fukk off to him; so he lies and I still say fukk off.
All he said was get to the top and you will realise its worth it and I tried to look for the top; hoping that of the 3 hillocks it would be the lowest 1 he was menitoning and though he said yeah sure, I knew we were headed to the highest peak. But trust me when I got there it was brilliant

We just sat there for sometime, my wrists were slashed with thorns etc but just sitting there and seeing nothing but absolute green and the sea and feeling the wind lash out at you was just so worth it. I think the Beast also got in the mood because she gave me a lick; ah well so much for love.


Then we started downhill and Tom didnt tell me, but I realised, that we were lost.
Beacuse until now you could see an arbit building or a vehicle; but now to get from point A to point B you needed and I am not kidding to crawl on your knees to go under spider webs (and I mean under, because Tom says and rightfully so why sestroy nature); well in my case hte spider was too big to mess with .. spread your fingers out; well yeah almost as big.
Then I fell on the rocks, I twisted my ankle, even the beast slipped up. You have seen movies about Africa right where you take a mug shot at people going thru jungles; well thats where exactly I was and it was beginning to get incresaingly tiring as for every step you had to figure out how not to slip and not to flal on the rocks because well they were sharp


But the fun was exactly this; I felt like a kid again; and frankly after the gruelling personal and professional life off late, I needed to end all of this by just going to the extent of killing myself, which I almost did and now my mind is clear.
So at the end of the trail when we did manage to find ourselves in a village (I was shocked ot see an actual village in HK!) I thanked both the Beast & Tom for the great time; we headed out to civilisation which was a walk of another 2 odd kms and had a few beers and ate great food.
I am back now and fuly charged and in the mood for some cyclcing.

Oh I bot a mountian bike which is so cool; and I need to work my stamina on that

Next weekend is mountian biking with Tom and Ken. Thats when it gets bad; Tom you have read of above; Ken is an ex-lifeguard; so built like that still, and I am going to be killed just to keep up with them.


Unitl then; dunno how many of you reached the end.

Lines which make NO sense

A lot of times you come across statements made by both genders which make no sense; this is in dedication to that ... of course my interpretations may not be all bang on; but at least the ladies will get an inkling into what we gather when they say the same!

1. I am confused ... the line most used by the fairer sex; the reaction of guys is simple "what the fukk"; either say yes its on or no its not; why keep it grey; we all know when this line is made the 99% end result is "dude its over"; so what should a guy do; well I go for a long run; get drunk after that and then say "what the fukk again" call her up and ask whats up; but the fairer sex ALWAYS gets her way out; so do what you want; you wont win.
Ladies when men say the above line; get out of there your guy is gay.

2. I need some time ... this also is a very often used line and if prodded upon then the rejoinder to this line is the above one; ie when you ask the lady "why you need time"; she will say, "I dont know yaar ... guess I am a bit confused". Now men, if this line is maaroed and you truly wanna be the girl; HIT IT HOME; matlab make sure she realises how much you love her and do it right then; else face point 1.
Ladies when men say the above line; just give him some quality time with buddies and drink up a bit and he will come back to you.

3. I need space.... now this is used by both genders; I get very confused when I hear this one; am I not cuddling up properly? am I gaining weight? so maybe Obelix can explain this one out.
Ladies when men say the above line; it should be worrisome for you; its our last line of defence.

4. Ahan ahan (with head tilted to the left and 1 eye cocked up) .... Watch out guys; you gonna get rogered; it basically means the woman knows that last thing you ever wanted her to know.
Ladies when men say this; ok this is one secret I wanna keep... hehehehehhe

Alright this is all I can add from my humble experience there are a few more but then the situations when the same were rendered cant be made public.
Disclaimer: Of course this is a sexist blog but I dont want to piss the women folk off so take it as it is light heartedly.

Cheerio and dont drink too hard; I know I cant; got a hike of 8 hours across a river bed.

Sanjay Dutt gets 6 yrs RI

It came as a surprise to me; so much so that during market hours instead of sending out ideas etc to clients; I was sending the above title out
I got mixed responses but none were shocked; as if it was "it was due to him"
But hey come on!

Look at the judgement, it says because you possesses an AK-56 you are required to be in for 6 years; what absolute nonsense!
His links with all the Dubai based gang is a non-starter; everyone in the movie world is somehow or the other linked to some goon; its but obvious; whether they like it or not its something else; read Black Friday and you will know.
I just think that this has been a "watch out! we can do anything" step by the judiciary and the government and SD has got caught in that and made an example of.

What utter bullshit; I mean you are making an eg of someone when hte real criminals is the damn police itself!
The entire Coastal Police across Bombay and Konkan areas knew of the offloading of the kala sabun (RDX) and its final destination (ie Bombay) as well and nothing was bloody done about it.
The villages next to which the final bombers were taught how to use arms and explosives also complained to the police about the same and nothing was done.
IB knew of the date (12th of March) about some dhamaka to happen and yet nothing was uncovered.

This guy served 16 months in RI earlier on; came out and has been a different man totally; or at least he made me feel it; I have not met him (one basic brush happened at Taj in Bombay but that was more like woow types and then he seemed humble unlike SRK who makes you think you've met God). Anyways; he along with Salman Khan and Jackie Shroff are hte only 3 actors (actresses included) who daily feed the kids form the slums in Bandra.

Look at the shooting of all his movies; all the spot boys want to work with him because he is an easy going chilled out charachter; and look some of the roles he has portrayed (it can be said he did them to get that kind of an impression; but hte counter is that for none of those roles was he the first choice! and I am talking right from Vaastav to Mission Kashmir to Munna Bhai). He was the one who helped Saif Ali Khan's wife out when they got divorced in bringing her back to the movies and get her settled; among other things

Anyways I havea strong feeling that by making one big star arrest the case ill die out slowly as the focus will be on SD and not on getting the real culrpits ESPECIALLY the police in.

TrivedEE writes

On the things I cant live without -> For even though I wasnt on the original list; but my love for Obelix (go figure .. her name starts with Z and ends with 'N' and has A/R/E in between) will keep me swallow my attitude

1. My family; who is my biggest anchor and base in life and w/0 whom I am a lost soul

2. Markets; I love them for the pace and the humbling experience it has on one because the saying "you can never beat the markets" is as much applicable to me as it is to Warren Buffet to Steven A Cohen ... err ok another eg is imagine SRK saying that yes he is not the best.

3. Beer; I love the draught and have a blog on it as well; nothing is more tempting than the Q "you fancy a beer?" at 7:30 post the entire hullaboo of the markets

4. Partying; 7 yrs ago I was a man with 2 left shoes; I still am but at least I dont care at all now; from being at a bar in HK called Al's Diner I have been on the pole dance almost every twice a month (fully clothed) to being in a an all night and no holds barred drinking session that is called mini-golf in HK ie you decide on 8 "holes" to go to and there you have to down at least 2 drinks each at each hole; f do in one gulp its a hole in one (kapeesch)

5. My laptop; right from emailing to chatting to dowloading music to orkuting to blogging; I am actually empty w/o the machine

6. Music; I have a good home theater at home but no cable connection; my system works as a music concerto with a full bass and surround sound and there's nothng better than listening to Bach/Metallica/U2/S&G. When I travel I have to be on the iPod else I'd die

7. Speed; I love bikes and I love cars and I love driving; when I go back home I easily do some 400kms at a decent speed in a matter of 3/4 days and I can do more.

8. Food; I love to eat and live to eat; anything which cna be labeled as a delight is more thna readily absorbed; after having lived abroad for just over a yr; my love for anything Indian is at all time high and I actually have eaten more desi food in HK than in my entire stay in Bombay (honest). eggs; anything mom cooked, steaks are all time favorite

9. A reclusive irritant; I love irritating people esp those who hate being irritated; my one liners are the most hated and the most loved depending which side you are at.

10. Traveling; might be as basic as a hike to random driving sessions to theme parks; to bike rides across islands to dirt biking to just being on the beach to sea sports to bungee jumping to sky walking whatever you get the picture

That's it? Unfortunately I have lost my reading habit; I used ot finish a book say about 800/900 pages in a week easily; but have lost it now; hope I regain it at some time.

Cheers!

A Tale of 2 Cities ... Part 1

I love Bombay; Bombay has taught me far more than any other city
There are 3 stages to Bombay
Stage 1 when you are in complete awe of the city ... its glitz, it aura, its pace, its madness, it efficiecny
Stage 2 when you come face to face with abject poverty; people who would work for a few Rs a day and kill for that amt as well (a friend told me "supari" is as cheap as Rs45/person!!)
Stage 3 when you just Thank God above for making you who you are and live on and come to terms with the above to factors and thats what makes Bonbay THE city to live in India

I have seen Bombay thru 3 major calamaties; 2 blasts and 1 monsoon problemWhen blasts happened; the first one was not that bad; it was just 2 blasts; the 2nd one was the series of blasts across Bombay's lifeline ie the local channel; now no one knows this not even my family;
I was supposed to be on the train in the SAME compartment that blew up in Dadar; somehow I met a friend in ton and got delayed; I have carried ppl when they were drenched in blood
During the flooding I have had some 15 ppl staying at a friend's place because no one had anywhere else to go; and then town side was cut from supplies like food and drinkable water; but you know what? People moved and they moved like it was another day and thats what Bombay is all about; Attitude!
I have read columnist write about the insolence and the indifference of a Mumbaikar; I show BOTH my middle fingers to them and raise them as high as the sky because when it mattered these socialites flew off and came back when all was well; I have seen it; have come back home to see my house in a bloody mess my music system rotten out; my TV refusing to work all because the skies above pored way more than needed; but you know what I didnt complain because my neighbours and I took it all and a bottle of vodka to clean it up

Thats Bombay; Fun in Calamity!
And I love her for it

It seriously have been the best of times and the worst of times (how the tale starts in A Tale of 2 Cities) and I have lived Bombay thru both (best and worst) 3 times over and I know I am what I am because Bombay has taught me one thing which I will relish all my life ... resiliance.
I could have written about all the partying I have done; about drinking on my rooftop with a childhood friend till we could not climb down; to all hte pickups I have had and have missed; to all the friends' babies I have held in my hand and felt at peace to all the bustling and moving ppl to the problems one faces during Ganesh Chaturthi; but hey who wants to talk about all that when only 3 events have made me what I am today!

Bombay is one city that I can go back to anytime; I have had a chat with my boss and he knows if he needs someone in India it is ME
I more readily got to Bombay than Delhi (where my family is - and ppl who know me know I love my faimily); but its just that Bombay is what has taught me about life and living it to the fullest; about being tull till 3am and being at work at 7am because it has to be done; about how to manage water during monsoons, abt singing arbit old Hindi songs in the local just because you have heard your dad and mom sing them, to calling friends at 4 am and tell them you love them and expect them to feed you (and they will!)

That's Bombay
Living EVERY moment and making it seem so casual about it.

Next up HK!

The falling $&*^#@! USD

My salary is in USD terms and USD has fallen 15% against the Re
The biggest Fword up (thanks Bullshee) is that my targets are in Euros, so even when we do well we always fall back a bit!
And yeah of course property prices going up means my liabilities go up and the rate of interest is not helping me either

Another bl**dy reason to head back to India
Markets I tell you ... makes me think all this @ 3am on a Sunday when I have just returned froma binge.

I need to get a life now.
Aila.
That will be a hard one; maybe I shuld stop drinking and start behaving more humanly ... or maybe I should just sleep.

Bambai nu trip

I love Bombay more than Delhi; I know Delhi is a way better off place ot live in but there is one big thing that Bombay has which Delhi doesnt and thats ATTITUDE
Bombay "is in your face live it like the way you want to as long as you dont step on my shoes and enjoy" attitude which Delhi cant get till now.
So when my boss asked me 10 days back if I would like to go to Bombay on a 4/5 day trip my reply was faster and more sure than had the Q been if I want beer ..
I have loads of friends in Bombay; most of them from the industry, campus and my previous-job and some from my earlier gym
We all converged on Friday and Saturday nights where we partied on both occassions from 7pm and until 1am (Nutty/ZK please note and Zeeks lemme know where and when for the challenge)

It was a great time; after a long time I caught up with old friends and met some of my batchmates from college
Oh yeah and I still own Toto's ... I went there after a yr and those guys remembered me! All of them; I got my favorite seat (well we were 12 of us); the DJ played all my favorite music (One. Yellow, Hysteria, Metallica, Pantera, Dire Straits you name it);
Oh yeah the first thing I did was of course had Chinese (Indian Chinese); I had greasy noodles; really greasy; vada paos and cutting was my usual breakfast (even at the hotel); though I missed out on going to Haji Ali for kebaabs
I also did hte matrmonial thing which Cool Kalra can expand on later; hte madum I had met was quite surprised at my capacity to party; but I htink Goenka and Jess were more surprised that I had got someone to Toto's who didnt drink (well things happen!); to be frank I tried real hard to hook her up with my brother and Cool (I mean biwi nahin to bhabhi sahi; kyun Cool?); on second thought writing all this is spoiling my chances but well dekhte hain
And yeah I did the Bandstand thing as well;
So it was an action packed time; the only thing I wanted to really do but couldnt was stay back in India; I miss it so much. Kya yaar I really feel fukked when I come back; apna des apna des hota hai yaar; kuchch bhi kahin bhi kar lo; but dekhte hain bhagwaan ne chaha to ek aadh saal mein to pukka aa jayenge.
Inshallah

If lost please call +852 6299 ****

.... so reads the screen on my Blackberry
When my colleagues (who have lived in HK far more than me) would see this screen, they would just shake their head at the faith I maintain in HK populace ie taxi drivers etc; the usual comment would be .. "this message would get your phone back in Tokyo, but not in HK"
Ah well today I beg to disagree; I had just returned with my parents after a decent dinner, so a movie and sleep were the only thing on the mind; so when I get into my flat I am like, oh sh*t; I rush down to the guard room hoping they maintin a log of all taxis (unfortunatley not); but at the same time keep calling the Blackberry (which after 4 rings, the guy managed to switch it off)
But then when I have given up all hopes (and have reported to the police about the loss; in HK you have to report everything that can be linked to you, as lost if you have lost it; else if misused they take you responsible!); the taxi driver calls and returns my phone.
What though I really feared was telling my boss that I needed another replacement .. in the past I have dropped my BBERY in a pool; used it as an ashtray among other things.
Well I was totally surprised and gave him a handsome tip and cmae back up.

Then I sat to think how many times such miracles have happened ie when one has totally given up hope and well things turn out fine. and thus started the arbit thought flow
I was having drinks with a colleague and she said something very deep; she said we all crib (and yes we do), but she just gets up with a feeling that she is so lucky being where she is, doing what she wants and living how she feels like (she can kick my ass on the trading floor, but always gives me a sweet smile, which eases it down) so its not like she is a romatic; but yeah what she says is true.
So henceforth I am being positive; this mobile almost lost has regained my faith in humanity; well sufficiently paid, but so what? Look at the bright side right?
Of course I will still retain the attitude, but yeah will look at the bright side more often. Like am I above avergae in built? Well, not really just well fed; and ZK you are fat not well fed; you are overtly fed. Chaits kuchch sikha usse yaar.

Anyways, I am back in Bombay for 4/5 days; so Cool and Chaits drinks are on!!
Obelix I see you in November for sure.

By the way parents are here so have been watching all the brilliant soft movies of yester years; check them out Golmaal/Chupke Chupke/Jaane bhi do ..../Buddha Mar Gaya/and more.
and guess what is playing on Tuesday night?

SHOLAY!!!

At my house; so if you read this and are from HK; more than welcome!

A "tourist" in NY? Not quite

Didnt see Ground Zero/Statue of Liberty/Empire State Building/Met Museum; all I did was ran in the Grand Central Park (twice)

On Saturday night I was sleeping @ 9; on Sunday I was sleeping @ 10
Only on Friday night and Monday nights did I venture out and that too was limited as next mornings I had meetings lined up.

Met Ruchi there and surprise surprise she joined in with a screwdriver for my beer.
But NY is a city I have fallen in love with; beautiful charachter and amazing exuberance the city entails in itself; you have pretty modern looking buildings highlighted against old buildings and pretty traditional looking streets.

What was really amazing (perhaps because that was the only place that I could spend time) was Central Park; those who have been to it will know; beautiful place; lush green with a lot of variety of interesting activities besides just normal running and cycling were on (and nothing sleazy)
NY has in the last 10 yrs really improved on crime thanks to the broken window syndrome and another theory relaitng to abortion; so like the 2 nights when I did manage to get out; I felt pretty safe even though I returned back pretty late or early as you want to see it.
Actually post being in HK; you really dont think twice about late nights; but one of hte nights just a block away from the hotel; I saw like 10/12 guys hanging around and I was like shit!

Hmm; what else ... HK is definitely faster than NY no Qs about it; but I loved the life of NY; work is forgotten post 6pm and ppl actually leave then; think its an Asian phenomena where ppl stay late!
Apart from that; frankly not much to write about; I was there for 8 days; wherein I had some 45/50 meetings besides the conference we had organised; so it wasnt a fun trip.
The only good part was though; that on hte way back we stopped in LA for 6 hours (had a meeting) and called up hte client and actually asked him if he would mind if we come to th emeeting post afew beers; thankfullt they were cool about it; so we just used the opportunity and had a few draughts sitting at the beach (though with our jackets in tow!)

Anyways; New York, I will see you soon again and just might do the touristy thing.

Cheers!

Going out with parents

Some rules to follow
1. Get mom some vodka (very very little) in the orange juice
2. Get dad two large draughts of beer
3. Watch the secrets pore out
4. Learn how to control laughter
5. Really know Rule No 4 well
6. Enjoy
7. Take cab back home

You will know when I have become a father ... on the day I remove this Blog.

I read Enid Blyton today

You remember End Blyton; I always think her to be the best writer EVER; to just imagine all the books/series she wrote which would make a kid (well at least me) imagine about a secret island, or to actually have a secret group formed with friends (we all had a dog in it like the Secret 7 and Famous Five; remember Malik? Liza?)
Anyways; so I read (rather re-read for the 100th time) Secret Island; think it is one of my most favorite novel; its about these kids who run from their foster home to a secret island and live for some weeks/months there and she made it sound so SIMPLE and exciting that I would be like yeah I can do that!
My favorite series was actually the Secret series and I would even now at times marvel at her brilliant imagination and capacity to keep KIDS enraptured to sit and read what she wanted them to read; all about solving mysteries or finding treasures and her best part was that she gave both girls and guys equal weightage in the entire setup.
I just love all such kind of books; so I enroled myself at a library and I got a few strange and a few "oh how cute" stares from ppl while I was intently spending a lot of my time in the "Picture Fiction" and "Big Alphabet Section" segment of the library and even stranger stares when I was asked by the librarian, "for your kids?" and I said, "No, me".
Well I did pick up Secret Island, Enid Blyton; The Last Voayage, CS Lewis; Asterix series; Witches, Roald Dahl
I have always felt writing for kids is so much more difficult than writing for adults etc ... for all the obvious reasons.
And to be frank I am no fan of Harry Porter; was till Prisoner of Azkaban, now it is all commercialised; so I wait for the movies.

Life is so simple when you are a kid; hate growing up.

A baby is born

2 of my close (couple) friends here in HK had a baby boy today; cute little thing with lot of hair and small little chubby nose and already he looks like he is going to be a naughty little baby.
So first of all congrats to you two on the new life and a great chapter of your lifes and hope God embarks choicest wishes and blessings onto your family.

When I saw the baby I was like whats it to be a mother; father is a great responsibility but think about the mother; she nurtures a life inside her for 9 months to a stage when all she does is for the baby inside her. Her eating habits; her lifestyle has to surround the baby.
And post that another 4/5 months you are again about the baby; and you start building up expectations about your lifes and most importantly your decision span now envelops somehting so important as it will involve the basic essentials of putting someone onto the world and how his outlook about himself and the world will be like.
My parents are here and I am like have I been a good son?
So I went out for a run for like 60 odd minutes and thank God for giving me the fortune of being born to my parents and hope He will give me enough time and opportunities to make my parents proud of me.
I think all those who are close to parents should really really thank them for being there; and those who arent well just think what they have done to make you grow up well in this world.

My final thought is that THANK GOD I am not a woman ... I mean me and with so much responsibility ... you gotta be kidding
(Had to write something like this; cant be serious for far too long)

Parents come a callin' !!

So my folks are in HK for 2 months; when I told my colleagues they were shocked! And now with just 2 weeks gone I am shit scared ... check this out

1. 2 friends come over and those dogs get the best of me (refer previosu blog "Return of the M word") and so complain about how they are not getting the right girl to get married ... now these dogs are dogs and so they dont want to get married but of course mom and dad get psched; these guys left @ 9; my matrimonial was up at 9:30
2. My father wakes me up at 6:45 EVERY DAY; "son lets go for a walk"; thank GOD I have got used to knowing the fact that he is around; else some abuses would have flown for sure
3. Oh yeah; he expects ME to sleep at 11pm EVERY night; including weekends!!
4. I cannot drink more than 2 pegs a day.... that SUCKS!!!
5. Mom calls me at 1am on Saturday to say she expects ME back home in 15 minutes; when I am doing JUST my 3 draught of beer; getting the chance to do that for once in 2 weeks...
6. Oh eah I am expected to check out the girls who have shown interest in my profile ,,, I mean girls interest in me; how can you be so dumb!!
7. ZK dont comment on the above, ok Obelix?

More horror stories to follow.

Of laazzyy Sundays

Friday night I need to party and I need to really get out there and get drunk and freak out and come back at something like 4/5 in the am and then sleep.
Wake up around 1/2 pm and head to the gym come back sleep some more and then head out on the Saturday evening binge.

Sunday ... no one and I mean NO ONE calls me up before 1pm HK time; you CANT I am a stinker when it comes to people spoiling my sleep; I am anyways a rude guy but trust me Sunday mornings I am crank king.
I hate anything but my bed/AC and bottle of water. So much so my maid comes and doesnt clean my room because she has once faced the wrath of trying to get me to open the door so that she could clean my room.
Anyways; Sundays begin at 3/4/5 am when I get into bed; I generally carry a heavy snack which I devour just before sleeping so that it gets me drowsy real fast (of course the beer in the system is anyways working); so after that I get into bed; oh yeah before leaving on Saturday evening I put on the AC so that by the time I come back the room is SUPER CHILLED (not an environmentalist of course)
Wake up @ 2/3pm an then pick up the latest news magazines and head to the Cafe for my brunch.
HK has a pretty similar concept to Parisian cafes; so I sit there all alone with my magazines finish them; I am a regular at one cafe; so they know that when I get in I have my pot of tea ready and brunch will be served only after me being there for 30/45 minutes.
Then starts the movie scene; come back around 4ish with 2 movies and watch them back to back; post that depends if I feel like gymming or go out for a quick dinner with friends.

I love slugging; there are days when India is shut and I dont need to be at the desk when I just sleep some 18 hours or so.

Yup so thats what my Sunday is all about.
and tomorrow is a Sunday but a different one; my folks land into HK for a 2 month visit; so I need to be ready and clean up the house; ah the joy of eating mom's delicious food and listening to dad's eco-political talk .. hmmmm!
Laterzz and enjoy!

Emotions are a poor man's dream

I am a cocky bastard; no Qs about it; but what differentiates me is that people I really like and love I am with them thru even thicker and thin that one would like to stand for.
But ever so now and again I am made to realise the futility of it and I think is it really worth it?

The answer till now has been "well so what if someone fukked around the better things lie in the things to come and people you know"; and then suddenly you realise well dude this is it right?
Its not worth it; and all the time you spent building it up is actually a waste; so perhaps *** is right when he says he doesnt care a damn who it is or how close a friend s/he has been in the past; what matters is now and when I look @ now I realise that well most of the people I think of dont really matter.

Ah well times change and people change with them; Tempora mutantor mutamur in ilis.

You fancy a beer?

In one week from now when my parents reach HK; this propensity of asking this Q of friends/colleagues etc will reduce to a tenth.

I love beer as in there is no such thing that can compare with beer for me. Yeah sex and food are there; but they dont compare to beer at least not in the mood when I take beer on.

I have a decent beer belly; I know with the amount I run/lift weights/and be active in life; I could easily be down to 70kgs (my target) but beer and food are 2 things I cant live w/o.
I am 75 right now; down from 83 about 6 months back. Yeah ZK just 5 kgs more than your gorgeous self.

Anyways coming back to the beer.
The funda with HK is that there are pubs everywhere .. next to my office and I mean within like 5 minutes walking time from my desk there are 4. On my way from office to home, if I just walk in a straight line you can see at least 40 and lets not even tlak about the actual party places.
On top of that most of my friends are single guys/girls; so its very easy to say dude/babe just one and then we are off.
I think till date only twice has it happened that I have had ONE beer and moved off ... once it was a girl and the second time it was bonus period and my boss called me as soon as I sat down with the beer.

The disadvantages are too many and we all know them, but just the first sip of a super chilled Carlsberg or Heineken (pints) after a bloody long/tiring/dull day at work is enough to say ... man I can do this just one more time.
Beer also lets loose the tongue and I have NOW finlaly controlled calling and singing songs to some friends. Point to note when I have called with Septik in tow was when we were drinking Old Monk (rum) so the beer induced emotional and singing outbursts are now over.
For sometime I had given up beer .. like for about a month and half ... switched to red wine and stuff; but then beer got me back and thouhg not back with a vengeance I realised I missed it too much.

Anyways, my dad comes in a weeks time and I need to reduce a bit more; although I know he likes Carlsberg a lot; so though it will get reduced I dont see a reason why I wont be enjoying more of it!

Cheers and enjoy!

Return of the "M"

Last night I had gone to a friends place for dinner. His mom is over and basically what happens when you are living abroad and single; mom's arrival in your city of residence brings mouth watering memories in.
We have a group of mostly single guys. Now the interesting twist was that another friend's mom was also here; so when we finally landed up at Bhomik's place for dinner; there were the guys and two moms.
Now all of us are in the age group of 25-27 and so in India that amounts to a ripe age for the M word ... Marriage!
See I have a good cushion; I have an elder brother and a cousin both still bachelors; so unless they get married; technically my parents wont look at me in "that light"; of course rishtas etc come but no one pursues them aggressively, if at all ignore them.
Knowing the above fact coupled with the information that most of friends' have siblings married already, I take great pleasure in introducing to mom/dads to the Q of when is your son getting married.
And then starts the barrage of things like "mom dont listen to him, we have a deal I will do an MBA then I will get married" to the more natural comments like "why dont you put some sense into him, he is 26 now ..(yeah right tell that to a 27 yr old)"
But last night was special fun because 1. I had the oportunity after over a yr almost and 2. because the guys who were being talked of are shit scared of marriage. The ensuing tussle was worth a Saturday night of no drinks; well we got to it early Sunday morning; but think about it me and no drinks on a Saturday evening! Blasphemous!

Actually on the desk (my office, we call it a desk since it is on a trading floor), I am again the one who is single. My colleagues take great pleasure in visiting Shaadi.com and the likes and going thru matrimonial snapshots; being a hot Indian I of course join them in the banter.
I have faced Qs which seemed quite funny to them like, "so tell me something you meet this girl for sometime and talk to her and then without spending time (you know what I mean ... ding dong) you have to decide that you and she have to / have not to get married?".
Now I have been floated these Qs some 8657943863 times and my usual answer is hey "FUKK YOU, finish your beer biaachhh".
Another often repeated Q is "how many times can you meet and speak during the day?"; now I know these firangs are not ignorant and they just want to take my case so at times I give answer like, "generally the girl is accompanied by her father or uncle" to things like "girls' cooking skills are often tested and at times in a random manner"; the reactions are worth Kodak moments.

Well I sincerely hope my brother/cousin gets married this year; I havent been to an Indian wedding in ages and the amount I have told my desk mates about Indian weddings; I will have to have at least 4 weddings organised for all of them to come for.

So guys/girls reading this; come on chop chop get to work. Anchit I know you are getting married, what about the rest?
As a close friend says, she will only believe it when I get married when I put the garland onto my lady; so I think that still remains a distant vision ...
But one guy's weding I will HAVE to go for even if it happens in Antarctica is Abhinav Madan and of course Amit Seymour (but in that I will be the best man .. so look out Sammy).

Interesting

Met these people over the last 10 odd days and realised man these people know how to live a life; so wanted to pen it down so that I can re-look whenever I run out of ideas of what to do in life.
1. He runs his own Hedge Fund; is single and lives in Japan. doesnt own a mobile phone. Every yr for 1 month he is out dirt racing; has ridden across South America, Africa and is now planning to do Europe on his bike.
2. He was in the finance field for 12 yrs; suddenly gave it up and joined Green Planet; stayed with the tribes of Amazonia for a yr and is now an acclaimed documentarian.
3. A colleague of mine, he HAS to take a break once in 3 months; an acclaimed diver; he has seen sharks and has been over 100 meters underwater when a pack of sea lions followed him and he boasts one kissed him as well
4. This guy knows the world inside out; he told me and a friend the EXACT route to Tibet and how to get to Mt Everest after that. He can speak French, German, English, Japanese and Chinese. Besides Antarctica he has been everywhere in the world.

I am getting sleepy now; wil write abt the rest later and keep adding to it.

But these guys live their lives man!

HK 7s

"Mate you have to be there ALL 3 days"
ok hmm hmmm ... what exactly are we tlaking about ... blank looks at me ... as if I had just told a ghost that he was actually alive
So I was made ot sit on the net during office hours and research on what is the 7s and why it is the 7s and why it is a MUST event to be at.
Anyways I goes there; ok the seriousness of the sport is such ....
See in my job in the equity markets you have to have a real good reason not being on the desk when the markets are on.
During the 7s (it starts on a friday and ends on a sunday; 3 day event); on the Friday is whats called a Long Lunch wherein beer starts off at 1 and then you head off straight to the stadium by 4:30. I got Box seats for telling my colleagues that they could go for hte opening.

Saturday is going to start at 11 for me (surprise!) and its going to be one long day of beer JUST beer and people go mad on beer! I have NEVER seen so much beer
So I should sleep now to be ready for it tomorrow. If I am back at anice hour; will continue my blog from here.
But the game is fun; no doubts and the beer and the women
HELP!!!!!!!!

Continuing
Didnt go on Saurday as decded we should be there whole of Sunday in the afternoon sun drinking beer.
Anyways; started of drinking beer @ 10 and was on till 5 when I got so slugged got up and came back
Trust me you want to see the snaps to know what all happens @ The 7s so wil put them up.
Blogging on that wont help.

Funny things

Just a blog on what I find really funny/ironical/idiotic for some I may give a rationale for other no
First is of course the American way of thinking that they can attack anywhere and hte retaliaiton that the Mid east come out with
How the Jewish/Palestianian tussle is really the result of anglo-French politics in 1950s and now USA is stuck with it ... and doing a bad job
How Kamal Nath calls cyclical industries "profiteering". I feel ridiculous abt the fact that the Commerce Minister thinks supply demand is not economics ... God save India
The fact that the biggest issue between Japan and rest of North Asia remains some PM visiting Japanese soldiers' shrine; ok given and understood that the WWII was hideous but hey thats more than 50 yrs now; so lets look ahead right? Nope!
How being right is the IN thing; right as in the political right and if you are either left wingish or moderate you are a traitor... somoene who doesnt understand "The Cause"
How Indians in HK never say hi when they are out to other Indians; I am at times the only one smiling at any passing Indian ... the same is absolutely the opposite with the whites; sometimes I feel whites are not the racist blokes; its us!
How ppl would spend 4/5 and at times 8 extra hours at stop-overs and airports to save $100 while going home from abroad while missing out on that much time with family and yes they CAN afford the extra $100
The fact that saddens me the most is when Africa is called the "burden"; I mean come on guys it was you Europeans who killed and raped the country and split into so many tiny segments that one tribe had to fight the other .... sects in Africa is hte single biggest reason for war there and it was started by you and now you "righteously" call upon yourself to set it right ... what crap; the continent where life emerged is now where life is cheaper than anything! shame!
People killed in 9/11 ...? 5000 at max; ppl killed in Iraq as a result of the war ... lets not even count; I am not belittling any event; its just crazy how ppl forget numbers
North Korea ... now thats a funny country; not enough food to feed even a quarter of the population; but our man wants not only the N Bomb but also the speed boats to show off to Japan ...
Islamic terrorists ... dont even want to start on that topic
Have you read the similarity between Christainity and Islam; both have Adam & Eve; both have Abrahim and hte slaying of his eldest son; both talk of Moses and both have religious shrines in Jerusalem; now I'm not even a well read guy in religion but its funny right ... too many imporant coincidents in such a vastly opposing way of life

Anyways my arse hurst as I am sitting on a stool; so catch you later!

Hasta Manana!

What I WANT to know

Derivatives
Markets
Squash
what its to be in really really love
what it means to be detached with life
what drives people to be ambitious
why religion is being marred so much that killings are allowed as a defence
why people cant accept others ways of life as just that ... people live differently .. why does anyone rather who gave anyone the right to intervene on religious aspects to define that THISor THAT is how you can live?
how Gandhi was Gandhi and how Jesus was Jesus?
why Nehru became a self righteous beast when he was the best man to shape India
why we are not happy with others' success
why am I a such a small man ina big scheme of things and how can I change it
why Bach is THE best thing to listen to when about to sleep ...
what is genius and what drives it
why in hell I never bought the Harley ... that one is difficult
what actually controls our emotions
why people say htink with your heart when all it is in the mind
why am I so lazy
why is their so much hatred in the world and why are peole thnking that becoming conservative on life and religion will change that?
whats wrong with being us
is their life elsewhere and what are their experiences .. are htey watching us and thinking of an opportune moment to intervene in our screwed up systems
or how screwed they are
what really started the world
is God really there (I believe in HIM and I want to always believe in HIM)
if given three choices will I make all 3 personal or call for world peace?
why am I so troubled at times?
why am I typing ths at 1 am in the morning when I have office tomorrow
why is being simple so difficult
why people like calling htem complicated when what they actually mean is that they are screwed up
why Ghenghis Khan is an evil bastard and Alexander is "The Great" when both DID the same thing
why is their so much poverty and why nothing is done about it
why is Africa so scewed up when actually its the birth place of LIFE
what REALLY shapes fate
is there really anything like fate

anyways I know this is an endless list ... good night guys!

I know ...

the TRUE meaning of 20 stories; have done 2 freefalls from that height
the difference between the 3 types of Glens (Feddich; Moranjee and Livett); just dont know which is Midlands
that bungee jumping should be done on an empty stomach
the no of days your maid has been absent by the color of your socks and underwears
that Roger Waters sucks without the entire troupe of Floyd
that when you look at faults in others you are just trying to mirror yourself onto them
that Lobo is the best song writer to listen to when you are with a girl you love/like
that champagne is the best alcohol to give if you want the girl to get in the "mood"
that if ever Amit Seymor reads this blog; he will not go beyond the above statement before trying it out on someone
I know Ruchika Misra will just shake her head when she goes thru this
that RIL IN Equity is the best Indian stock and YOU should buy
the feeling of the first few drops of rain on your head and the time taken to enjoy it and look up with half a smile is one of the best moments in life
that black coffee does wonders to a hangover
that I love watches esp if they are fake; so BRING them on
that the best time to be with family is winters cause then you can cuddle up to mom and ask dad to make some tea
that there is nothing better in my life than to get up at 7 am and realise that today is an off and I can sleep
that there is nothing more pissing off than not being heard/noticed
that if you are not being heard/noticed; well then you just HAVE to be heard/noticed
that there is no greater pride than of a father for his son and a mother for her daughter
that being scared at times is the worst thing I have in me; that explains the bungess and the sky-walking; but still cant call up a friend and say sorry
that I love my work and I cant understand why so many people keep complaining about work and still be at it 24/7
that education is something I will always want more of
that I wouldnt have said the above line even 2 yrs back
that I am a kid at times; but hey who doesnt like a bit of attention
that Zarreen Khan is one of my most favorite babes and if I didnt mention her; she will get mad and so will Anchit but he isnt a babe of course; he is a dude!
that its 1:30 am and I am writing all this which I love doing

so in short

I LOVE THE GUY WHO STARTED BLOGGING!!!!

Random thoughts on my life

Its funny how life takes off ... when I was a kid I never thought of life beyong JNU; hten Delhi and hten my only dream was to come and work in Bombay and thats where I was. I remember 2 yrs back I use to debate with my uncles on the non-requiremnet of venturing out of India as I have always felt that growth in India on a personal scale will be 10x more than what I could get abroad. so if anyone would have told me that I was shifting to Sg and hten HK even 1.5 yrs back I would be like yeah .. right and well here I am. Funny when you think that this time in 2006 on a saturday I would be sitting with a friend and discuss whether coffee in Lonavala or Khandala for coffee and now here I am sitting and thinking whether hike in Lantau or venture out to Donwuan (China)... though I still feel that India will give good growth opportuities but sadly India IS 10 yrs back when compared to China and 20 yrs back to the rest of the developed world; I am sure I can and will play some role in brdging the gap fast.

Watch this movie "In the pursuit of happiness" I thnk will Smith has beaten everyone with his role performance and apparently its a true story. Its maddening what the guy could do and has done. I want to be someone like that who can stand up one day with the air of self respect and be like; yeah I KNOW I have achieved IT.

Markets do a bad thing to you; you start looking at everything from a return point of view; I was always gung ho on picking up a Harley Davidson and had even signed up for a Fat Boy edition; then I thought I am paying X for it; it will depreciate almost immediately; in 1 yr I will get "X less 25%" if I have to sell it; whereas if I buy Reliance stock I can at least make 15% return from here; so Fat Boy is now on the backseat and yes ZK so is the Mini Cooper.

Two of my closest babes' in India will eventually be getting married someitme this year and then I will have no one to get drunk and disturb in the middle of the night. At times I feel they want to get married to save from this ordeal only.

I was in Sg for 7 months and when I shifted to HK I created a group on Orkut for my bacthmates from school (Don Bosco); and hten realised that 2 of my close buddies from school lived (literally speaking) at spititng distance from my flat in Sg. And even they didnt know hte other was there. So next weekend I am off to Sg and we are having an alumni party there!

When I was in Bombay; I had a cool set of neighbors and we used to party; kill each other; rob clothese wear them 34 times and return them unwashed; basically act worse than KG kids; but it was the simplicity of relationship of Zero expectations and 100% reliance on hte other which made us bind together so well. even now when I go to Bombay; we meet as if there has been no gap in coversation; there is no "catching up"; its just fun talk; serious talk about life and then "guys I really have to go; flight is in 2 hours" same is with friends in Delhi; my firends have 0 expectations from me but I know I can turst them 100%.

There is a small gang of us from my campus that I am still in touch with; would it be up to me; I would like to decrease it even more .. but have to be NICE as some of my cousins and friends tell me. Problem is that I cant be nice; I am an impatient guy who likes to see things straight off and tlak straight and not be worried about who thinks what; so when I meet some of these from campus I am amazed how shallow and inconsiderate they are to others' yet not many see that.
Niceties are for later; lets see what you are on the table and then take things up. For I know that when going gets tough I will be there for my friends and they for me; hte nice guys always back out first or suddenly have their cellphones off. Funny ppl; I feel sad for them. I rmmeber we had this huge fight in campus and as I was running with 2 other guys I just turned around to see who all was there and that was IT; 3 guys to fight 40 ppl and the remaining junta was just sitting there.

In my entire life of 27 yrs and say 12 yrs since realising that women are "fun" (I was in a boys school so by the time I got dis-interested in fights; it was quite late); I have been out on V Day only 3 times.
So this year in HK I saw like tons of roses coming in and going out of office I was like shit man need to change my life and SHIT man I cant be seen drinking withhte usual lot of guys I hang around with ... so the first prick was yeah well no roses to get or send and WHAT REALLY HURT was NO BEER!!!!!

Anyways; have a conference call coming up.
Next blog in a weeks' time; tonight I drink.

Bachelor parties gone AWFULLY wrong!!!!!!!

All are true life incidents of things gone awfully wrong; of course all the stories happened with some other ppl that I didnt know of until tonight when one of hte incidents mentiend below took place; so at the cost of my being drunk and having wasted a night to Macau; against which I had to listen to all of these; though wont complain for I am still laughing ... hope nothing like this happens to me or any of you who reads this!!!
Some of you (who read this) might know whom I am tlaking about ... and you were with me last night!!

Guys are X and women are Y. And all are different stories of course.

X1 and Y have a dhoom dharaka marriage ... on the suhag raat when X1 "loses it" to his "love" .. which seemingly is Y; Y says she loves someone else and before he has a chance to react she says she needs to go to the loo ... in total Rachel style she runs away to her love X2 ... and in one week X2 dumps her and she wants to go back to X1 ... yeh of course X1 says fukk off. Wonder where Ross was then?

X1 and Y are going around for 1 yr; break up. X2 and Y go around for 3 yrs break up; X3 and Y plan to get married ... "something" happens (still a mystery) and Y goes back to X1 after a "night" with X2 .. Shubhash Ghai .. you listening?

X and Y get married .. Y realises after one week X gets more hot when Y dresses up as a guy ... yup you guessed it X is gay.

Y is a very inquisitive woman ... she keeps asking X on one drunken night "if I wasnt in your life who would you love" and after repeated shaking of my head to say no one but you ... X says well if you weren't there as in if I had never met you ... it would have been Y2 (pardon him ... she was really pestering and he was very drunk) and so X and Y call off engagement ... dont worry guys. I still got drunk.

X is in USA; his parent have an arranged marriage planned for him; he comes and meets Y; all is wel and after 2 months of chatting and stuff they decide to get married; X comes down to Bombay for his engagement; Y says lets meet before engagement; engagement is 5 days BEFORE this incident. X and I go and meet Y; Y says she loves someone else; I look at her and ask why now and she shrugs her shoulders; X is speechless so I do the talking and in 5 minutes tell X to go and get drunk. of yeah she alos says hope you understand ... and X says WHAT??

Of course this is the guys' side of thing ... but trust me it cost me a bottle of Old Monk ... damn!

So cheers to all of you who got mentioned here ... its ascrew up I know but at least the remaining 8 guys got a good laugh ... a small respite for a missed Macau trip and a possible strip tease.